As the news surrounding Avicii‘s untimely death — which according to his family’s statement, was likely a suicide at the of age 28 — continues to trickle in and the world grapples with the loss of the beautiful soul and icon, many look to the dance community for answers.

Avicii’s death came as a heartbreaking shock to the community and even more deeply to those who’d loved and known him personally. Recently, his never-before-revealed girlfriend, Czech model Tereza Kačerová, has gone on to speak publicly about the two’s previously secret relationship. Taking to her Instagram for the first time ever with a heartfelt letter to the late Tim Bergling, Kačerová goes on to explain the nature of the two’s relationship and struggles with his passing:

“The first couple days I harassed your friends (are they SURE IT’S REAL?!, demanding proof, WHERE ARE YOU NOW?) and googled articles to read that they had it all wrong. Every time I saw “RIP” and “Avicii” together in one sentence or an end date to your life, I felt shock all over again. When I saw they had changed your Wikipedia bio from “is” to “was”, I sobbed. I’d stare at it for minutes at a time, trying to decipher why it says that you died on April 20, 2018. It didn’t make any sense.”

Kačerová continues at length in her heartfelt letter, detailing intimate moments between the two and her son from a previous relationship, Luka.

“I used to tell you that I would keep you forever,” her letter continues. “And thought what a big word “forever” was. But now “never” seems so much bigger. I called you a baby angel. Little did I know how soon you would become one.”

Read Tereza Kačerová’s post in full below.

Avicii's secret girlfriend speaks out: 'We shot to the stars. We were so happy together'

Avicii's secret girlfriend speaks out: 'We shot to the stars. We were so happy together'

Avicii's secret girlfriend speaks out: 'We shot to the stars. We were so happy together'

Avicii's secret girlfriend speaks out: 'We shot to the stars. We were so happy together' Avicii's secret girlfriend speaks out: 'We shot to the stars. We were so happy together' Avicii's secret girlfriend speaks out: 'We shot to the stars. We were so happy together' Avicii's secret girlfriend speaks out: 'We shot to the stars. We were so happy together' Avicii's secret girlfriend speaks out: 'We shot to the stars. We were so happy together' Avicii's secret girlfriend speaks out: 'We shot to the stars. We were so happy together' Avicii's secret girlfriend speaks out: 'We shot to the stars. We were so happy together' Avicii's secret girlfriend speaks out: 'We shot to the stars. We were so happy together' Avicii's secret girlfriend speaks out: 'We shot to the stars. We were so happy together' Avicii's secret girlfriend speaks out: 'We shot to the stars. We were so happy together'

H/T: Mixmag